Rain & Wind

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It's been raining and windy just about all week! But I did get to go for a ride in the Durango (and before Turbo did). I got to accompany the person to buy some crickets for the gecko and some treats for us.

Here's your joke for today:

It was visiting day at the prison and the missionaries were on deck.

"My good man," said one kindly lady, "I hope that since you have come here you have had time for meditation and have decided to correct your faults."

"Yes, ma'am, I have." replied the prisoner in heartfelt tones. "Believe me, the next job I pull, I'll be wearing gloves!"

Be sure to look for Amber and me on our road show!

Birthday

The person at our house had a birthday yesterday. Turbo made her a photo gift but he didn't plan ahead and my face wasn't visible. He doesn't take criticism very well.

Anyway, here is one of the person's favorite jokes:

There were three pieces of string wandering in the desert. They were very hot and thirsty. They came upon a bar and one went in. He asked for a drink and the bartender said, "read the sign buddy we don't serve strings.'

'Oh come on just this once', the string asked again. The bartender said 'nope', so the string left. The second string figured he was a bit better looking and maybe the bartender would soften a little and let him have a drink. He went in and asked for a drink, the bartender shook his head and said 'Hey Buddy, it's just like I told your friend we don't serve strings here.' Dejected the string left the bar.

The 3rd string heard both of their stories, thought for a moment. Then he rolled himself into a knot and fluffed the edges so it was a little frayed. The third string went into the bar like this and asked for a drink.

The bartender asked, 'Hey are you a string?' The 3rd string looked down at himself and said 'Nope, I am a frayed knot!'

1936 Humor

That person in my house has a book titled "World's Best Jokes" dated 1936 edited by Lewis Copeland.

A bunch of the jokes are racially (and otherwise) offensive by today's standards. The book breaks down it's jokes into these categories: American, Yankee, Rube, Negro, Irish, Scotch, Jewish, Hobo, Drunk, Preacher, Lawyer, Doctors, etc.


Also, there's a lot of jokes that don't even make much sense to me as a 2006 dog:

"Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?"

"Because they are drawing-rooms, my son."

The jokes that are about a person's race or heritage are written in a vernacular that I don't have the patience to work my way through:

"I canna get ower it," a Scotch farmer remarked to his wife. "I put a twa shillin' piece in the plate at the kirk the mornin' instead o' ma usual penny."

The beadle had noticed the mistake, and in silence he allowed the farmer to miss the plate for twenty-three consecutive Sundays.

On the twenty-fourth Sunday the farmer again ignored the place, but the old beadle stretched the ladle in front of him and, in a loud, tragic whisper hoarsely said:

"Your time's up noo, Sandy."

Happy Veterans Day

I sincerely wish a Happy Veterans Day to everyone who is reading my blog. Please take a moment to think of those who are veterans.

Now on with the joke...

"Look here, waiter, is this peach or apple pie?"

"Can't you tell from the taste?"

"No, I can't."

"Well, then, what differenct does it make?!"

Thanks to Raisa!

Thank you Raisa for selecting me as the November Featured Husky Blogger. It's quite an honor!

I intend on posting more frequently this month. I apologize for my infrequent posts. It's hard to get Turbo off of the computer!

So here's a joke for you:

A woman went to a bank. She noticed there was a new face behind the window.
"Has the teller gone away to take a rest?" she asked.
"No," replied the new man, "he has gone away to avoid it!"

Turbo Can Be Annoying

As much as I like Turbo, he can be really annoying!! Sometimes he just won't leave me alone. On the left is a picture of me trying to relax. But Turbo was standing over me trying to get me to tell him some new jokes. Sometimes it's really awful being the comedian in the house. Everyone's always wanting me to tell a new joke.

Okay, Turbo, here's a joke for you:

How many Turbo's does it take to annoy me when I want to sleep?

Just one. Shut up and go to your box!

Tag!

I've been tagged by Roo Roo.

Here's how this tag is played:

The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself." Then you tag 5 friends and list their names. The furries who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their 5 weird things/habits, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I have my Canine Good Citizen Certificate.

2. I have a good sense of humor and like playing jokes on people.

3. I don't like everything I'm given to eat.

4. I am the fluffiest of our house.

5. I can speak English. The person I live with doesn't know everything I can say, but she's heard me say "Al Gore," "hello," "I love you," and "Hi, Laura Jo."

I tagged Bella, Bailey, Boomer, Sammy, & Sunshade.

I'm A Hero!

I was single pawedly able to wake the human to make that stupid noisy thing shut up this morning! Yea Me!!

Hey Hey Hey!

Fargo, here! My human has said (in my presence, no less) that I am her best behaved dog in public, but a crazy dog at home. Yeah? So what! Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? In public I am Mr. Calm, Cool, & Collected. I am very obedient. But at home, I need to be the center of attention. If I'm ignored, I'll yell "Ha!" in that person/dog's ear. Or maybe I'll grab a hind leg or a hand. Maybe even a butt. WATCH OUT!!!!

I have something that no one else in my house has. I have earned my "Canine Good Citizen" certificate. My Human and I also tried to get the "Therapy Dog International" certificate, but they pulled a fast one on me. Some nice woman threw these treats on the floor in front of me as we walked by. I figured, "Hey, free food." So I grabbed one. For some reason my Human didn't get one, too. They disqualified me for that!

I hate being ignored. Once when we were out for a walk, some guy didn't even look at me! Can you believe that? So I just stopped walking and turned and tried to stare him down.

In dog class, we canines were in a 5 minute down/stay. It was very boring, so I tried to entice the other dogs into breaking their stay. I remained in a down/stay, but I whisper barked, "Ha!" in their direction.

I can speak human language, but my human doesn't always understand what I'm saying. She can understand the following words, "Hello," "I love you," and "Al Gore." She doesn't know what I really think of Mr. Gore, however.